A letter to the Chairman of BT

Dear Mr Rake,

I am a vicar in south London and I have been trying without success to have a telephone installed in my new vicarage for more than ten weeks.

One of your employees told me today that I was lucky as I have only waited eleven weeks and  he had just been dealing with a lady who had been waiting since September.

That’s certainly one way of looking at it.

Clearly there are others worse off than me, but after numerous phone calls, emails, and the cast iron assurance from your complaints department that the line would be installed today we remain without telephone

 or broadband.

Having tried the BT complaints people and drawn a blank I thought perhaps I should write to you.

Yours sincerely, 

Canon Gary Jenkins


TELECOMMUNICATIONS UPDATE - Wednesday

First may I apologise to Sir Michael for demoting him to a mere Mr. It seems that Her Majesty has recently knighted him I (for services to telephone installation?).
 
It turns out that Sir Michael has a whole team of minions dealing with frustrated customers who have contacted him in despair and I now have my own personal customer care assistant from the chairman's office who told me impressively 'from now on you will  only deal with me.' It sounds like we could be embarking upon a long term relationship.

Like all BT employees he is utterly charming but also utterly unable to indicate when a phone might actually be installed despite our case being 'escalated' (BT jargon) to the telecommunicative stratosphere of the chairman's personal office. (Prior to this - about 3 weeks ago - I was told we had been 'escalated to the highest level' - but now we have entered the Holy of Holies itself.

But still no phone.

Two engineers came today after much discussion they decided, on reflection, that they could't help us. Their immediate predecessors had lamented the lack of suitable ducting. Today's visitors admitted that was indeed a problem but they detected an even greater difficulty - the cable partially installed earlier in the week was not long enough - and departed.

And so after 8 visits there remains an unbridgeable gap (I suppose of about 3 yards) between our house and the BT junction box. As the psalmist might say 'How long O Lord' or perhaps better: 'How long, Sir Michael?'

PS I am grateful to the suggestion (see comments) from the Reverend Michael Hough that 'he (ie Sir Mike) has been trying to phone you.' As always truth is stranger than fiction and I have discovered that following an abortive attempt to install a phone, BT emails its customers with the request 'please phone us.' If only, if only..

UPDATE (Thursday)
My new best friend, Alan, from the Chairman's inner sanctum has been in touch that to say that some plans have now been drawn up (well done!) and although he is unable to say when the phone might actually be installed, he is rather pleased with the way things are working out, or as BT would say, 'escalating'.

Alan, himself, has promised to be in touch again on 12th February. Watch this space.